As I Close My Eyes by Sarah DiCello

As I Close My Eyes by Sarah DiCello
Series: Breaking Fate, #1
Source: Author for Review
Publisher: Taylor Street Publishing, LLC
Publication Date: June 29, 2012

When she looks into her own eyes, she sees a ghost.

And when she looks into his eyes, she knows she has seen them before ...

Danielle Grayson is a beautiful, intelligent young woman in present-day Georgia, but when she closes her eyes, she becomes someone else in a different time, one hundred years earlier in fact.

Danielle's other life is as entrancing and romantic as her current one, and the contrast between the lifestyles is intriguing and enlightening, but what starts out as being dreamlike soon becomes real and strangely familiar.

Worse, whatever happens to her as Danielle seems to change the past, if it is a true past.

And when she finds she is not alone in being able to flip between the two worlds, life, love and death become increasingly disturbing.

I can honestly say that I didn't like this book at all. I went into it with good thoughts - but I came out severely discouraged. I liked the idea behind As I Close My Eyes, but for me it just didn't deliver. We never get a real answer for why Danielle is slipping back and forth between worlds, and I feel like too much of the story was focused on the insta-love between Danielle and Ben.

It was just too hard for me to get into. The writing was very choppy in the beginning - which usually doesn't matter, because sometimes it takes a little bit for me to adjust to certain writing styles. But I never adjusted to this one - it was a jarring narrative.

But that wasn't my biggest problem - my biggest problem lay with our main character, Danielle. She's trying so hard to be an adult, but she's just failing so miserably. Her mom cleans her room (!!), but she's "18 and I can do what I want". I just didn't like that. I don't really like her, to tell the truth. Dani's mom is said to be "so protective", but she doesn't even blink at the idea of a boy staying over while they were gone. I just couldn't get behind her. She was flat, and I saw no inflection in her dialogue, or feeling from her at all. She was just... boring to me. I was disappointed with the lack of characterization and development of the characters in this book - Danielle was not the only one that I disliked. But she was the most dislikable one. She never tries to make any of her relationships work.

Don't even get me started on Ben - I don't understand why they were together, honestly. They met* and then they fell in love instantly - that upset me. They were declaring their love and wanting to be together forever... but... I didn't feel it. At all. Ben was kind of a jerk. He "loves her", but he was always trying to make her a different person. He tells her not to embarrass him. I just don't find that to be an acceptable relationship - he never apologizes or anything, and he repeatedly tells her (paraphrased) "not to act crazy" or "don't pass out and embarrass me". No. Just no. There is no reason for that - it seems like an unhealthy relationship. The romance was so disappointing. And honestly, I wasn't even looking for a romance with this one - I was looking to find out about the other person who can flip time; yet I never even got a hint of it. Not to mention the fact that the ending was a big cliffhanger - and super melodramatic.

I'm going to admit that I skimmed the last thirty pages or so. There was just so much meaningless drama, and it all added up to... nothing. The plot felt like it was just thrown together. I don't think that the author knew where she was going when she started.

As I Close My Eyes had the potential to be a good book - but it didn't deliver at all. In all honesty, I couldn't believe the amount of cliches that this book had in it. "The tall, handsome stranger who I felt a deep connection to instantly."

I wanted to see more flashbacks, the reason that I started this book - but they were few and far between. And they honestly didn't make a lot of sense - I have no idea how they related to Danielle's life in the future.

All in all, As I Close My Eyes really wasn't my thing. I wish that I could have loved it - or even liked it. But I didn't.

*actually, I lied. They didn't meet - Danielle saw him across the room in a restaurant, then again in the bookstore that he owns. Then she stalks him until he asks her out.