A Trick of the Light by Lois Metzger

A Trick of the Light by Lois Metzger
Series: N/A
Source: Received for Review
Publisher: Balzer & Bray
Publication Date: June 18, 2013

Mike Welles had everything under control. But that was before. Now things are rough at home, and they’re getting confusing at school. He’s losing his sense of direction, and he feels like he’s a mess.

Then there’s a voice in his head. A friend, who’s trying to help him get control again. More than that—the voice can guide him to become faster and stronger than he was before, to rid his life of everything that’s holding him back. To figure out who he is again. If only Mike will listen.

Telling a story of a rarely recognized segment of eating disorder sufferers—young men—A Trick of the Light by Lois Metzger is a book for fans of the complex characters and emotional truths in Laurie Halse Anderson’s Wintergirls and Jay Asher’s Thirteen Reasons Why.

A Trick of the Light is one of those scary reads where you walk away with this huge sense of I don't know, understanding or something.

But first things first-- I didn't relate to Mike (the main character), at all. I'm not a boy with anorexia, though, so I suppose that's all right. Mostly, his characters decisions just confused me. And most of all, I just think that the entire subject of this book went a tad over my head, which completely sums up my thoughts on this: over my head.

I found that Mike's friendship with Amber only complicated things-- she was a bad influence, but I find that she gave the story a much bigger purpose. I don't really know how to explain it?

The best part was definitely the point of view that it was told from; Mike's eating disorder is our main narrator, which gives the story a certain dab of uniqueness. All in all, A Trick of the Light is a book that left me feeling a bit shell-shocked.

Guest Post:

Where Do You Get Your Ideas?
By Lois Metzger

It's a question writers often get asked. Some find it hard to answer, because ideas can float around in your head for a while, or several different entirely unrelated things may have to combine to create a story.

In the case of my new young-adult novel, "A Trick of the Light" (HarperCollins), I know exactly where I got the idea, and also when.

On Wednesday, August 4, 2004, I read an article in the New York Daily News called "Not For Girls Only."

The article began: "Sue Roberts couldn't stop fuming after watching a 'Dr. Phil' show on eating disorders. The two-part series features several girls with bulimia and anorexia. 'What about the boys?' she remembers asking herself, then furiously writing an e-mail to the talk-show host."

Sue Roberts' 16-year-old son, Justin, the article said, "almost starved himself to death after several doctor's visits missed important signs." Justin was "a straight-A student who wanted to be perfect in every way." At 13, a coach happened to tell Justin that he could "shave a few seconds off his mile time if he lost some weight." Then, around the same time, a tall thin boy, a classmate of Justin's, looked over at Justin, called him fat and laughed. "Maybe I am," Justin thought, and decided to stop eating, pretty much just like that.

At first, Justin's parents complimented him on how good he looked, how disciplined he was. Then they noticed he was dropping weight too rapidly, that his personality had changed. "We were all walking on eggshells because he would blow up about little things," his mother said.

Within four months, Justin, five feet tall and originally 130 pounds, went down to 82 pounds. The article explained: "His lips, fingertips and nails looked bluish. He wore baggy sweatshirts to hide his frail body, but he couldn't conceal the malnourishment evident in his sunken eyes and hollow cheeks."

Justin's mother couldn't prove to her insurance company that her son needed hospitalization, so finally she had him admitted on her own. "His condition was worse than she thought," the article went on. "His heart rate was 42 beats per minute. He had zero body fat. His body temperature was 92, and there were patches of hair growing on his stomach and neck. It was his body's way of trying to keep him warm. He was days away from death."

During his brief hospital stay, Justin "saw an emaciated girl walking in the hallway, talking to herself." He decided: "I really don't want to be like that." He began eating and he recovered fully. In less than a year, he grew four inches. Talking of his present state, he could say: "I'm more outgoing, more confident. I'm happy now."

I got a strange feeling while reading this article. Kind of an other-worldly, floating, almost surreal sensation. I've written only three previous novels, and the same thing happened before I began writing the other books, too. In each case I knew immediately that here was a story that wouldn't leave me alone.

So it's not really accurate to say this is where I got the idea for "A Trick of the Light." This is where the idea was getting me.

I got in touch with the writer of the excellent article I'd been reading, Julie Patel, then a reporter for the San Jose Mercury News (she now she writes for the Sun-Sentinel in Fort Lauderdale, Florida). She put me in touch with Sue Roberts and Justin. They were extremely helpful in giving me more details about the journey of recovery, and referred me to a doctor at Stanford University, James Lock, author of two ground-breaking books on eating disorders. Dr. Lock gave me the names of some doctors and families in NYC so I could meet and interview them. I stayed in contact with Sue Roberts; I'm very glad to say she wrote me recently that Justin, now a young man, remains happy and healthy.

The 15-year-old boy in my book, Mike Welles, has much in common with Justin. He, too, develops an eating disorder rather quickly, and loses weight alarmingly fast. A doctor misleadingly tells Mike he is fine, insisting that anorexia only affects girls. As the disease progresses, Mike's vital signs are similar to Justin's. Mike, too, encounters a girl at a hospital, who freaks him out because she's talking to herself. Mike doesn't recover as fast as Justin did, but he does take significant steps toward recovery.

Julie Patel's article emphasizes that eating disorders among men and boys are on the rise (this was almost ten years ago, and the problem has only gotten worse). Ten percent of people with eating disorders are male, and currently there are ten million people in the U.S. with eating disorders, which means at least a million boys and men (and many people say the figure is much higher). Their disease still gets missed by doctors who think only women and girls can get eating disorders, and many hospitals and eating-disorders clinics still only admit girls and women. Then, as now, eating disorders have the highest death rate of any psychological disorder, estimated between five and 20 percent.

I didn't realize, when the idea got hold of me, where it would lead -- right to the heart of a struggle against a disease that too often ends in tragedy.

Lois Metzger, author of A Trick of the Light, was born in Queens and has always written for young adults. She is the author of three previous novels and two nonfiction books about the Holocaust, and she has edited five anthologies. Her short stories have appeared in collections all over the world. Her writing has also appeared in The New Yorker, The Nation, and Harper's Bazaar. She lives in Greenwich Village with her husband and son.
For more information please visit http://www.loismetzger.com, and follow the author on Facebook

Ten Tiny Breaths by K.A. Tucker

Ten Tiny Breaths by K.A. Tucker
Series: Ten Tiny Breaths, #1
Source: Netgalley
Publisher: Atria
Publication Date: September 24, 2013

Kacey Cleary’s whole life imploded four years ago in a drunk-driving accident. Now she’s working hard to bury the pieces left behind—all but one. Her little sister, Livie. Kacey can swallow the constant disapproval from her born-again aunt Darla over her self-destructive lifestyle; she can stop herself from going kick-boxer crazy on Uncle Raymond when he loses the girls’ college funds at a blackjack table. She just needs to keep it together until Livie is no longer a minor, and then they can get the hell out of Grand Rapids, Michigan.

But when Uncle Raymond slides into bed next to Livie one night, Kacey decides it’s time to run. Armed with two bus tickets and dreams of living near the coast, Kacey and Livie start their new lives in a Miami apartment complex, complete with a grumpy landlord, a pervert upstairs, and a neighbor with a stage name perfectly matched to her chosen “profession.” But Kacey’s not worried. She can handle all of them. What she can’t handle is Trent Emerson in apartment 1D.

Kacey doesn’t want to feel. She doesn’t. It’s safer that way. For everyone. But sexy Trent finds a way into her numb heart, reigniting her ability to love again. She starts to believe that maybe she can leave the past where it belongs and start over. Maybe she’s not beyond repair.

But Kacey isn’t the only one who’s broken. Seemingly perfect Trent has an unforgiveable past of his own; one that, when discovered, will shatter Kacey’s newly constructed life and send her back into suffocating darkness.

Ten Tiny Breaths surprised me in a good way. I had seen this one around, and I'd been keeping it in my sights, but it was one that I wasn't sure I'd ever get to. Turns out that it would of been a mistake if I had never read it, because I really liked it. Kacey was such an amazing character, and I love watching her grow and heal as a character.

Her sense of humor was fantastic, and I loved that tough-as-nails exterior that she was putting off, it was great. My favorite part of this book would have to be the character relationships, though. Every one of the secondary characters was well developed and had a purpose...which only made me love them more. I was mostly proud that there was no pointless characters, to tell you the truth. My recent experiences with New Adult have left a bit to be desired, if you catch my drift. I'm glad that this one didn't. It was fantastic.

Every page of this was like...I don't know. It was just really good. There were a few predictable scenes, but what is a good book without a feeling of predictability? Personally, I'm a fan of some predictable things, so it was no problem for me. Kacey still remains my favorite part of the book, though.

She was her own person, and although she didn't pick the best way to handle her problems, I think that in the end it made her every bit of who she was. I also loved her relationship with Trent. He has several skeletons in his closet too, but he was perfect in almost every way for Kacey. They compliment each other.

Just like Storm and Kacey-- Storm makes a fantastic best friend for Kacey. I couldn't help but think that the balance each other out, and I was really surprised by Storm. Though I keep wanting to call her Stormy, and I have no idea why...

All in all, Ten Tiny Breaths is worth a read...like a lot. I think that you should give it a chance, because it might surprise you.

The Truth About You and Me by Amanda Grace

The Truth About You and Me by Amanda Grace
Series: N/A
Source: Netgalley
Publisher: Flux Books
Publication Date: September 8, 2013

Smart girls aren't supposed to do stupid things.

Madelyn Hawkins is super smart. At sixteen, she's so gifted that she can attend college through a special program at her high school. On her first day, she meets Bennet. He's cute, funny, and kind. He understands Madelyn and what she's endured - and missed out on - in order to excel academically and please her parents. Now, for the first time in her life, she's falling in love.

There's only one problem. Bennet is Madelyn's college professor, and he thinks she's eighteen - because she hasn't told him the truth.

The story of their forbidden romance is told in letters that Madelyn writes to Bennet - both a heart-searing ode to their ill-fated love and an apology.

The Truth About You and Me is a really complex story. It isn't about how an underage girl tempted a teacher, or how a teacher took advantage of a young girl....it's much more than that. First, Bennett doesn't know that she's underage. He thinks that she's college age, which helps him to feel less guilty. And second, Madelyn isn't exactly knowingly getting him in trouble. The age of consent in her state is 16.

That's what makes this so complicated-- I'm not sure where the lines are. In general, she's too young for him. But it's not like they set out to do wrong. It's so, so complicated to explain and even think about. It's not a love story, it's more of a story of self-discovery and just happens to have a bit of romance in it.

Madelyn was a very good storyteller-- I loved the letters, they were so lyrical and pretty. Through her eyes we get to see everything, and I really liked it. She could taking something so simple-- but when she says it; it becomes true and beautiful and doesn't remain simple...it becomes complicated, like her. I actually think that if we met, we'd be really good friends.

I mean, I don't approve of what she did, but I think that I would like her. I really have nothing to say about Bennett. He didn't make a huge impression on me-- and I kind of think that it's because he's not really a big part of the story. He's kind of background; I think that the story is more about Madelyn telling their story.

And their story is bittersweet. It's sweet for a long time, but it just keeps building and building and you know how it's going to end...but you don't, not really. I think that the ending actually worked out really well-- it surprised me. All in all, The Truth About You and Me pushed at a lot of boundaries...it's complex, and I really think it's worth a read.

The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay

The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay
Series: N/A
Source: Netgalley
Publisher: Atria Books
Publication Date: November 13, 2012

I live in a world without magic or miracles. A place where there are no clairvoyants or shapeshifters, no angels or superhuman boys to save you. A place where people die and music disintegrates and things suck. I am pressed so hard against the earth by the weight of reality that some days I wonder how I am still able to lift my feet to walk.

Former piano prodigy Nastya Kashnikov wants two things: to get through high school without anyone learning about her past and to make the boy who took everything from her—her identity, her spirit, her will to live—pay.

Josh Bennett’s story is no secret: every person he loves has been taken from his life until, at seventeen years old, there is no one left. Now all he wants is be left alone and people allow it because when your name is synonymous with death, everyone tends to give you your space.

Everyone except Nastya, the mysterious new girl at school who starts showing up and won’t go away until she’s insinuated herself into every aspect of his life. But the more he gets to know her, the more of an enigma she becomes. As their relationship intensifies and the unanswered questions begin to pile up, he starts to wonder if he will ever learn the secrets she’s been hiding—or if he even wants to.

The Sea of Tranquility is a rich, intense, and brilliantly imagined story about a lonely boy, an emotionally fragile girl, and the miracle of second chances.

I hate my left hand. I hate to look at it. I hate when it stutters and trembles and reminds me that my identity is gone.

I can't think of words to describe how I feel about The Sea of Tranquility. It's terrible and beautiful and heart-breaking. I can't think of any other way to say it, especially since I accidentally deleted my kindle notes...again.

I had so much that I wanted to say, and now I'm just regulated to telling you exactly what can be said right off the bat.

The writing was truly amazing. It may have been a super long (and at times slow) book, but it really got under my skin and made me think and feel for all of the characters. They're all totally messed up and flawed, but they're truly perfect in every way. I loved every little flaw in each of them. I loved their pain. (Well, I didn't love their pain but you get what I mean.) I loved that they all healed each other in a way.

Nastya (I cringe everytime I see that name) really was a broken person. Something very, very bad happened to her, and I spent the first half of the book wondering what it was; then the second half being upset about it. No one should ever go through that. In spite everything she's been through, I respect Nastya. I respect that she wanted people to stare on her terms, and not to feel sorry for her. I respect what she wanted.

On another note, I never expected the guy who did it to be so trite. It was crazy, and I actually found myself feeling sorry for him. I can't forgive him, but I'm so sorry for him. That never should have happened. It's his fault, make no mistake, but I feel terrible about it.

No one should ever go through what Josh, or Drew, or even Clay is experiencing either. Life isn't easy, but this tiny group of people seem to have it the worst. I wish that I could just wrap them all up in a hug and not let go. They broke my heart so much that I cried multiple times. Not like, flat out bawling on the floor, but a good, this-is-a-fantastic-book cry.

All in all, I definitely recommend The Sea of Tranquility. It's a heart-breaking read that just needs to be read.